When Youssef first connected with SHIM’s Fatherhood Program, he faced a challenge familiar to many working parents: finding time.
Working multiple jobs while raising three young children, Youssef wanted to be involved in the program but struggled to attend regular group sessions because of his work schedule. Rather than letting that become a barrier, SHIM Fatherhood Coordinator Netra Kafley worked with him individually, introducing him to an online, self-paced curriculum called ProFathering 15.
What began as an alternative way to participate soon became a transformative experience.
“I learned lots of skills,” Youssef said. “I learned to manage time between my job and my family, give more time to my kids, manage money for my family, and how to talk to my kids when they have problems.”
A Journey from Morocco to Pittsburgh
Youssef’s path to Pittsburgh began thousands of miles away in Morocco.
He and his wife first met in high school in 2003. After years of friendship, they began dating in 2014 and married in 2016. The couple’s journey to the United States began when his wife was selected through the Diversity Immigrant Visa Program. Youssef later joined her as they worked to build a future for their growing family. While Morocco remains close to his heart, Youssef and his wife believed the United States would offer greater opportunities for their children.
“Morocco is beautiful,” he said. “But here there are more opportunities, better schools, and more possibilities for the kids.”
The transition wasn’t easy. When Youssef arrived in Pittsburgh in 2018, he spoke limited English and initially worked in an embroidery factory, operating machinery with little opportunity to interact with others.
“I only talked with the machine,” he joked. “It was hard to learn English.”
Later, he found a position cooking at the University of Pittsburgh, where daily interactions with coworkers and students helped him gain confidence. He also connected with English language classes through SHIM and Literacy Pittsburgh.
Meanwhile, his wife had already established a strong relationship with SHIM, attending English classes and women’s programs at the Family Center after her arrival in the United States. Over the years, the entire family has benefited from SHIM’s services, including parenting programs, food pantries, diaper distributions, and community events.
Learning New Approaches to Fatherhood
Although Youssef grew up with a father he deeply admired, he quickly realized that parenting in America, and parenting in today’s world, required new skills.
“My dad taught me everything,” he said. “He never yelled at me or hit me. My parents respected each other and made our family happy.”
After his children were born, Youssef found himself reflecting on the differences between parenting expectations in Morocco and the United States. In his home country, it was common for fathers to come home from work and soon leave again, while mothers carried much of the day-to-day responsibility for the children. Fathers were often seen as providers and authority figures, but not always as active participants in play, routines, or emotional connection. In the United States, Youssef noticed a different expectation: fathers are encouraged to come home, be present, spend time with their children, and share in the daily work of family life.
Enrolling in SHIM’s Fatherhood Program helped him build on positive lessons he learned from his father while introducing practical parenting strategies for modern family life. One lesson that stood out involved discipline. Instead of reacting with frustration when children misbehave, Youssef learned age-appropriate time-outs followed by calm conversations.
“For example, my son is five years old, so he gets five minutes,” he explained. “My daughter is seven, so she gets seven minutes. After the time-out, I talk with them about what happened, ask them to say sorry, and then we give hugs.”
The program also emphasized routines, family meals, safety, financial management, and healthy communication. Perhaps most importantly, it challenged Youssef to reconsider how he spent his time. For years, he worked constantly, sometimes finishing one job only to spend hours driving for Uber.
“I changed everything,” he said. “Before, I just worked. Now when I get home, I play with my kids and spend time with them.”
Today, family dinners happen together at the table. Screen time is limited and structured. Bedtime routines include stories. Outdoor play has become a regular part of family life.
Strengthening the Whole Family
The impact of the program extends beyond Youssef’s relationship with his children. He says it has also strengthened his marriage. The curriculum encouraged him to work through disagreements with his wife privately rather than in front of their children and helped him recognize the importance of balancing family responsibilities with work demands.
“My wife doesn’t need to call me to catch up because I’m spending time with the family,” he said. “I have time with my kids and time with my wife. Even time to be romantic.”
Netra has witnessed those changes firsthand. During SHIM family field trips and community events, he has watched Youssef become increasingly engaged with his children, taking the lead in activities and creating opportunities for connection. At one outing, Netra noticed Youssef actively exploring the park with the children while his wife relaxed and enjoyed the event.
“It’s easy to learn, but difficult to practice,” Netra said. “Youssef really put what he learned into action.”
Building Trust and Community
Beyond parenting education, SHIM has become an important source of support for the family as they continue building their lives in the United States. Over the years, Netra has helped Youssef navigate challenges ranging from improving his English to understanding credit and purchasing a home. Recently, Youssef closed on a house for his family.
“It takes time to build relationships and trust,” Netra said. “As we connected more, he felt comfortable asking questions and seeking guidance.”
The family has also become active participants in SHIM community events, including picnics, swimming classes, and field trips. During one Fatherhood Program barbecue, Youssef even helped Netra find halal ingredients and prepare food for participating families.
Continuing the Journey
After successfully completing the ProFathering 15 curriculum, Youssef plans to remain involved with SHIM’s fatherhood programming. With an upcoming work schedule change, he hopes to begin attending SHIM’s Dad’s Group regularly to learn the 24/7 Dad curriculum.
He also encourages other fathers to benefit from the program.
“I would share this program because it helps men,” he said. “I see lots of men who have problems with their kids, but this helps them become the best father they can be.”
For Youssef, graduation isn’t the end of the journey, it’s just another step. As his children grow, he knows new challenges will emerge. Teen years, college decisions, and helping his children build independent futures are all ahead.
“Learning about parenting goes on,” he said. “You keep learning every day.”
And thanks to the skills, support, and community he found through SHIM, he’s ready for whatever comes next.
Learn more about how we help families on our Family Support page.
